Young at Heart

Giveaway!!! Free ipad

2011-05-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

Hey friends!

Would you like a chance to win an ipad AND at the same time help out an amazing family doing an amazing thing? Well the Jenkins family are adopting two special needs children from eastern Europe. The process is going much quicker then they anticipated and they will be ready to travel in about a month,(its been three months and this thing usually take 9-12 mo!) They haven't had a lot of time to fund raise. THEY NEED OUR HELP!! Go to their website to enter for the ipad. They are taking donations through Reece's Rainbow,(reecesrainbow.org) or the link on their website,(www.jenkinschasingrainbows.blogspot.com).

As you know adoption is very close to my heart and after coming away alive,(and extremely blessed!!!) from completing three adoptions through foster care last year we feel led to do it again! Only this time we hope to adopt a special needs child/ren from overseas. Please pray for us as we seek Him in what He has next for us:)

We are praying about adopting a child from the photolistings on http://reecesrainbow.org/new-family/thechildren or http://www.projecthopeful.org/waiting-kids .

I would like to encourage you to go through these site and see what they are all about. Look at the children and allow yourself to see them as real people who, without you and me, will die.

Now I know that not all of us are called to adopt, but we are ALL called to do SOMETHING. It looks different for everyone, some maybe called to adopt, some my be called to support financially, and all are called to pray. Praying for these children and their families my seem like the least that one could do but in reality it is the most you can.

I want to encourage you to pray for the Jenkins family, and if you feel led, help them financially.

Adoption is very exciting but it can also tear you down. The paperwork, jumping through hoops,(and EVERYONE has a hoop!)Financially, both the cost of adoption and bringing more mouths to feed. By the time you bring your child home you can be so mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted that you unprepared for the REAL journey to start. The fine art of integrating new people into a family can be rough. It is a blessing beyond blessings but it takes awhile. I know that without the prayers of friends and family I would have never made it through after we brought our children home. Praise Jesus we are a healed and happy family now, but there were many times in the past year and a half when I wondered if I would be able to finish the race.

Some days, as I search to the end of the internet, I find myself overwhelmed by all the faces and stories I read about children in need of families. I think, " There are so many!..I can't adopt them all!..How can I choose one and not another?" It's overwhelming. It makes me want to shut off my computer, stop looking at the faces,and stop caring. But I know I can't do that. God has placed the orphans in my heart for a reason.

There are 147 Million orphans in the world. This number is staggering. But, did you know, that if only 1% of Christians adopt one child, there would be no more orphans in the world?...One percent! That is so do-able! So,I will keep looking at those photos of those waiting children, and I will keep allowing God to break my heart because I realized that that 1% starts with...ME...and it starts with you too.

Giveaway!!

2011-03-14T14:00:00.000-07:00

I am excited about this giveaway. It looks like a great reading curriculm.
http://raisinghomemakers.com/2011/phonics-museum-reading-curriculum-giveaway-210-value/

Book Giveaway!

2011-01-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

Hey my friend is having a book giveaway on her blog. Check it out! Of course you wont win it because I'm going to;)Hehe!

http://mountainhomequilts.blogspot.com/2011/01/passionate-housewives-giveaway.html

How life changes and oh how it flies!

2011-01-19T13:34:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I haven't been on here in a year! I didn't document all the good stuff!! Oh well, I'll do my best to give you a rough draft on the past year.

I never would have imagined a year ago how much my life would change. I never would have done this if I had know how hard it was going to be. And I am so glad I didn't know because I am wrecked and I never want to go back to my selfish, unfulfilled life before three beautiful, wonderful, amazing, traumatized, traumatizing, exasperating, monster children came into my life. I have grown so much as a person I doubt my friends,(the ones not in the trenches with me) recognize me anymore!

Of course for them to recognize me they would actually have to see me and to see me I would actually have to leave my house and since I have three kids now AND I home school,(Yes, I said I'd never do that! But guess what? There are a lot of things I have done as a mom that I said I'd never do!) so that doesn't happen very often. LOL!

So I left off in Jan. right after Virgil tried to die on me. Scary! But not the only brush with death he would have in 2010. He was also punched in the face several times and choked while strapped in his car seat.(I mention this causally but at the time it was very serious and we took all precautions necessary to keep him safe once we realized he was in danger.) He has inflicted several black eyes on himself,(he is my daredevil.) and lots of bumps and bruises. He is tuff though. At least now he is learning to come to me with his boo boo's. He is super active and adores Ryan above all else. He loves to jump into Ryan's arms and say "Let's go!"

I spent much of the year driving from one town to the next taking E and J to various social worker meeting, therapy sessions and physiological evaluations and visits with birth family. Since they are from another county we did ALOT of driving!

They were diagnosed with a few disorders so I did lots of studying to know how best to help them.

I don't think there is a surface in my house that hasn't either been pied on or pooped on...

In March a family friend was murder and so that added to our current state of trauma.

Life was really really hard for awhile and I didn't think I could do it. Thankfully I have a wonderful support system made up of family, friends, other adoptive parents and seasoned foster parents that have been invaluable in this process.

We finalized Virgil's adoption in August. It was scary to finalize the older two with all their behaviors not under control. But we believed that God was calling us and so we finalised E and J's adoptions in October.

And then the most amazing thing happened....

The very day we finalized ALL the behaviors stopped!!! We didn't know what to think. We just prayed it was for real. And it was. Sure they still have baggage. They are human and they have been through more then any one should go through. But they are normal. They are great kids and we are so blessed and honored to be their parents.

I know this updae is pretty vague. In the midst of the process I could not imagine ever putting myself through that again. But now that we have come through the storm I don't remember a lot of it and I no longer feel the pain. I know what God has brought me through and how it has change my life forever. He is an awesome God this God that I serve.

Now we are looking forward to a future full of hope and new adventure. Maybe even another adoption. Time will tell. Please keep praying for us!

My plan is to start posting on this blog again. I know the next andventure is going to be hard, harder then the last but I am up for the challenge and I don't want anyone to miss out on it this time!!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Things arn't as bad as they could be!

2010-01-23T12:21:00.000-08:00

We had a really scarey thing happen on Monday. Virgil woke up with a fever of 103 at about 5:00am. I gave him a bath with vinager in it and got some motrin in him. He just wanted to be held and so I sat down with him while he slept on me. At about 8:30am I felt his whole body get super hot really fast. He turned red, sat up and then his mouth dropped open and he stopped breathing! I called his name several times but he was unresponsive. I tried calling 911 but I was panicking and couldn't get the phone to work. The kids were scraming and running in and out of the house. I was finally able to dial my mom. I started CPR and then got through to 911. After about 3 breaths he started breathing again. My mom showed up just as he came back. It took the ambulance 20 minutes to get here. He was stable by that time so I told them I'd take him to the hospital.
When it was happening I thought he was having a seizure because it is so common when babies have a fever. But it didn't seem like a siezure. After discribing what happened to the doctor on call he didn't think so either.
At the hospital they did a spinal tap, bloodwork and a urinaylisis. They let us go at about 2:00pm saying he probably has a viral infection but they are not sure. They did tell me I should have given him Tylonal instead of Motrin or both for a fever.
By early evening he was back to normal other then he ran aout of steam pretty quickly.
So after all that, everything that we have been dealing with with the other two pales incomparison to possiblity losing our baby boy.
The kids are in counseling now. The gal is nice but in reality not real helpful. There is a lot of fluff going on but not much progress. I think we need somone who is expereince with attachment disorder.
The hearing to see if they will be staying is on the 28th of this month. We only have to have the grandma visits once a month now instead of once a week and the phone calls are not happening anymore either. All things considered the kids are doing well and I think they are getting used to the idea that they may be staying.
That's about it for now. Until next time...

I LOVE Love & Logic!!!!

2010-01-05T07:42:00.000-08:00

What a crazy couple of weeks! My life has been turned upside down and around. My house looks like a war zone. There are children everywhere!Ha! Elisa started first grade in a new school yesterday. She said she really liked it and the teacher said she fit in like she had been there all year. What relief!!
Walker,(that's what Joaquin wants to be called)is in preschool but its been tough to get someone to call me back from the school system. From what I understand you really have to fight to get a kid in school around here. So we are just hanging out today.
Virgil is adjusting to having siblings slowly. It's really bringing out his personality. He is going to be my little firecracker! Him and Walker brawl quite frequently and it isn't always Virgil who ends up the loser!
I think it funny how the kids have no concept of the fact that he is a baby and doesn't understand like they do. To them he is their peer. Yesterday Virgil was climbing up Walker and he started elbowing him in the ribs! I told him he couldn't do that to him and Walker responded with,"But he was doing it first!!" LOL
I've really been able to put the Love and Logic stuff to work. It's great!! I love how it deflates a situation before it starts.
This morning Elisa was mad about some "terrible injustice" and started yelling at Walker to to leave her alone because she was in a bad mood. I gave her a choice of being sweet and hanging out with he rest of us or being in a bad mood on her bed. She didn't answer me so I choose for her. I sent her to her room singing "Feel free to join us when you are acting sweet!" She pouted and gave me the stink eye all the way to her room. Then she wailed for about 5 min. At ten minutes she was quiet but still not acting sweet. Unfortunately,(for her) it was time to leave for school. I sang, "Sweetie, would you like to wear your shoes to school or carry them?" she responded that she wanted to wear them. I said "OK well its time to get in the car so dad can take you to school."
She responded,"But I haven't brushed my hair yet!"
Me,"I know sweetie, but we are out of time. Have a great day at school! I love you!!" And off she went! (A little surprised but she went.)
Teaching them to make wise choices is so fun!!
Another one we are experimenting with is, "Feel free to keep any toys that you pick up!" We set the house rules the night before last. I gave them all day yesterday to pic up the toys and I'm about to make a sweep through he house to see what I find. Of course we will give them the toys back wen they do some sort of odd job to work it off. This is so fun!
Aside from all the fun we are having we are also so tired!! I can't believe we have 3 kids!! Plus we all keep passing the same sick back and forth. Yuk!!
Oh! And did I mention that I have seen "ICE AGE; Dawn of the Dinosaurs" like 15 thousand times since Sat night?? I just have to laugh! Thats all one can do right?? Either that or go stark raving mad!! Hmmmm....;)

Merry Christmas to us!

2009-12-28T07:22:00.000-08:00

Last Friday,(before Christmas) we got a call from State Adoptions. They had a sibling group of two for us. Girl 6 and boy 4. I got the call at around 11 A.M. and I picked them up in another county at 5 P.M!
The story is that they were removed form their birth parents about 2 years ago because of neglect and abuse and placed with their grandmother. At the time the grandmother was married and had a renter that helped her with the kids. The birth parents terminated their own rights so that the grandmother could adopt them. Unfortunately the grandmother couldn't get approved to adopt them so the county worked it out so she could be the guardian. At the time she also had their little sister who was an infant. Then her husband left her and he renter moved out. She called State adoptions and had them place the baby sister because the 3 were to much for her.
Recently the grandmother started using meth. The county was trying to help her but she kept coming up with dirty tests so they removed the kids last Friday. The county is unsure of her rights so they are having a lawyer review it. If they don't have to they don't want to offer her any services. But things change so quickly in this business so it isn't over until its over!
When I picked the kids up at a gas station they couldn't wait to get in my car! They we very excited.
A week has passed and a lot more has transpired but I'm just to tired to go into it at the moment. They are great kids and we would love to adopt them if that is what God has for us.
We had a great Christmas. Our house is so small but our arms are full! There is a song running through my head a lot. ts called "Mr.Mom" and I think its by Lone Star. It makes me laugh because it reminds me of our new life.

Good News!

2009-11-18T10:43:00.001-08:00

The contested hearing was held on Friday. The services were terminated and the .26 hearing,(where rights are terminated) was set for Feb 12th 2010. I'm so relieved.
Virgil is doing great. He is so close to walking its crazy! I think he has recovered from having those kids here. Unfortunately I think we have entered another round of teething. DUMDUMDUMMMMMMM!!!!! We will survive though. Sorry for such a short post but I'm chasing a 9 month old as I type!

Peace and quiet

2009-11-11T07:27:00.000-08:00

Kids left on Monday. I took then in at 3:45pm. Boy knew somthing was up. When they came and took them he grabbed ahold of me and didn't want to leave. Girl didn't have a clue. They got them distracted pretty quickly and I was able to leave. I felt bad. But i have to think of Virgil first. they were just too much for us. I met the new foster parents. This was thier first placement. I had to stiffle a chuckle and a sarcstic "Good luck!" for an "Oh! how exciting for you!!" I did my best to give them as much info on the kids as I could without scaring them.
It is still so bazzar to me that those kids NEVER asked for their family.

Virgil's contested hearing is Friday. Birth father wont be there so we get to go. The social worker expects things to go off without a hitch and the judge should set the court date to revoke rights for 120 day out,(give or take a few months:)

Virgil and I were both giddly all day long yesterday having the house to ourselves. When he woke up in the morning,(after sleeping throught he night for the first time in 3 nights.) He was giggling when we would walk into another room in the house and the kids were NOT there. It was pretty funny..and sad that he was so effected.

So life is back to its glorious everyday normal. I feel like we were caught in a tornado and for some unknown reason were spared. Life has new meaning now. The world through my eyes is nothing but beauty because we made it out ALIVE!

In WAYYY over our heads!!!!!

2009-11-08T17:54:00.000-08:00

Got a call yesterday afternoon from social services. They had an emergency placement for a sibling group of four needing to be placed because of serious neglect. They only wanted to place the two youngest with us, Boy 6 Girl 3. And only for a couple of days.
I felt a little obligated because I really like this worker and I deal with her most often. So we said if they couldn't find anyone else we would take them. Of course they called us right back with all the details because there was "no one else." As the story unfolded they told me that Boy is autistic and Girl is a "runner." Oh and they may need to stay for two week.
I told her I couldn't do that but I could take them till Monday when they could get another place for them. How bad could they be right? I can do anything for 2 1/2 days!
Well its been 1 1/2 days and I don't know what I was thinking!!!! These children are feral!! Biting kicking punching slapping scratching screaming yelling farel children. Extreme neglect is an understatement!
Girl arrived with no pants on and neither had shoes. They reeked of urine and they have sores all over them. Neither are fully potty trained and both have a terrible diaper rash.
They had the place fully ransacked before the social workers had both feet inside the doorway. When we let them outside they just ran around blindly yelling and screaming. Girl went right for the fence and tried to escape. Luckily her foot got caught in the fence so I was able to grab her before she got over. They were everywhere at the same time.
We had to enlist my mom to get clothes and food. Neither wanted to leave the other alone with these children,(we don't have life insurance on each other anyways! Ha)
Bed time was a nightmare. After 2 hours of back and forth and a call in to the social worker we let them watch tv in the living room. They we asleep within a half hour. Boy slept in a wooden rocking chair and Girl slept on one of the couches. We didn't dare try to move them. They probably sleep that way every night.
Today was the longest day of my entire life. Up at six and it seemed like ten years had passed by nine. Our game plan for the day was to let them run!!!
We let them run to the barn, runaround the yard, run around kids town, run at a bday party and then back home at three where they ran until five. They just run around yelling. They don't really play.
Boy likes the dogs but if they don't do what he wants he stars to hurt them. (Poor Angus! Calamity won't let him touch her.)
Oh! and Boy cusses like a sailor! We don't respond because he know when to use them and I think he wants us to be shocked. I don't think he is autistic. I've done quite a bit of research on autism and he just doesn't fit to me. Yes he rocks back and forth at times but really that is it. I think he has hearing loss and has been so neglected that he is developmentally behind. But autism... I just don't think so. He is very aware of what he does.
Poor Virgil is has hardly slept since they arrived. They are so loud.
The strangest thing to me is that this is the first time they have been removed from the home and they haven't asked for there mother once! Not even the oldest sibling who I guess acts as the mother! They are very fractious but I don't think this is abnormal for them. Today at the bday party a guy went up to our truck to say hi to the dogs and Boy yelled,"Hey! Get away from MY dog!!!"
So tomorrow Boy goes to school for awhile and its just me Virgil and Girl. I'm also calling SS to make sure they remember that Monday the must go! I know this isn't the kids fault. They are actually very sweet in their own way. They aren't being "bad" they are just being the way they are.. But this is just wayyy beyond our skill level.
We also have Virgil to think about. I don't like having my baby in such a strife filled environment. We are wiped out!
One really good thing about this situation is that we now know that we don't want to adopt older children. We will stick with the babies.
I realize that foster parents are an amazing breed of people. They should be highly recognized. Another thing I have realised is that we are not of that breed.

Continuation date set

2009-10-27T11:50:00.000-07:00

Virgil's social worker came out last Thursday to see him before the meeting on Friday. (The one to set the continued hearing date.)
She said that when she takes him to his visits he is very uncomfortable facing the birth father and is most content to sit on the floor playing with the chain that is around the birth fathers legs! I am pretty horrified that this is acceptable. I mean that chain goes EVERYWHERE the birth father goes. EEWWWWHH! But the good news is that there are no more visits. Whoohoo!!! Goodbye nasty chain!
Anyways, the new hearing date is set for Nov 13th. It's a little farther away then I thought it would be but this is the way the system works.

Welcome surprise

2009-10-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

Took Virgil to his visit at the jail this afternoon. Turns out his birth father has been transported to prison. It's not a big deal but it makes me feel better knowing he is gone.
I also spoke with my adoptions worker about the hearing last Friday. She had a much more positive take. And she said that the birth mom sent word through her lawyer that she feels adoptions is the best thing for Virgil.
I guess the contested hearing will be set for some time in the next two weeks. We should know tomorrow.
So we are breathing easier at the moment. Thank you all for your prayers. They are workering!!

He is faithful

2009-10-20T09:41:00.000-07:00

Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble. Pslam 119:165

Heart stopper

2009-10-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

So the hearing was on Friday. As we figured, the birth father contested. The birth mom didn't show up. The court ordered that he not be transferred out of county,(he was sentenced to 3 yrs 8 mo in prison.) until after the next hearing. They have some sort of meeting next Friday and then they set the date for the next hearing.
There was a paternal family member named as a possible adoptive home. The social worker said she isn't very worried about it since few stepped forward until now to say they want him and the ones that have haven't been able to pass the checks. But they still have to look at them. Needless to say my stomach is in knots. I'm trying not to "go there" but its hard not to after Landen. Talk about a jolt out of complacency. God sure knows how to get me on my knees.
Please keep praying. I'll update as soon as I know more.

I know it's been awhile

2009-09-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

Things are going great! Virgil is getting so big. I can't believe he will be 8 months in a couple of weeks. He is crawling now and he got his first two teeth a couple of weeks ago. I have a feeling he will start pulling himself up on things any day now.
Uhmmmm...what else? Oh yes! Teething is the DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!
Still no word from birth mom. His social worker says she sees her around town all the time. I guess she is functioning fine but chooses not to have anything to do with her son.
As of last week his birth father is still in jail. We haven't heard yet when or if he has been sentenced.
The hearing to discontinue services and to set a court date to terminate parental rights is Oct.16th. I guess there will still be visits until that last court day.
Hoping to get another placement soon. Virgil loves my 2 month old neice. I think he would like to have a sibling. We haven't heard anything but we are hoping.
Now fall in upon us and the holiday haze is about to start. Time flys when you are having fun. I love this time of year! Thank you all for your prayers!

Back to life

2009-08-03T07:52:00.000-07:00

We had a great trip with Virgil. Even though he is teething like crazy I was able to get him on a pretty consistent eating and sleeping schedule. My sister-in-law was a great help to me. This weekend was the most he has eaten and slept since I have known him.
We didn't tell my mother-in=law or father-in-law we were bringing him so they were super surprised. They bought him a little Bumbo chair so he could sit up on his own. Its pretty cool.
So this week starts the daily visits with birth mom. I can't help but hope and pray she doesn't show up. Everyday is just so much! His social worker wants me to keep a diary of his behavior after every visit. It will be interesting to see how he acts. She visited him on Friday morning before we left and the social worker said she interacted with him like a baby sitter would. I guess only time will tell. Please keep praying for us.

Road trip anyone??

2009-07-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

Hey All,
Just a quick update. This past week went great with Virgil. We had him overnight on Monday. He slept pretty good. We were having some feeding issues but I think I have that worked out now.
We found out that his birth father is in jail on 6 felony counts so it looks like we wont have to worry about him. BUT...I just heard from Virgil's social worker and his birth mom called her this morning and wants to see him. She hasn't heard from her in 3 mo! Please pray that she will drop off the face of the earth again. The social worker said that she would have to work really really hard in the next 2 1/2 mo if they were going to consider giving her another 6 mo of services. Ultimately I want Gods will in this situation but right now I my heart hurts and I really want to protect it.
He is being placed with us tomorrow morning at 9:30am and then we are off to Klamath Fall for a family get-together,(crazy you ask?? Well yes you have to be a little crazy to be in the foster care biz;) It should be interesting. Ryan's parents don't know he is being placed so soon so that will be a nice surprise for them. I'll let everyone know how the trip went when we get back.

Moving right along

2009-07-22T17:46:00.000-07:00

So my day was going really well since we had another great visit with Virgil today. He acts as if he has been with us his whole life. And then his social worker called me to say that State Adoptions wants her to expedite the transition. So instead of moving him on the 11th they are moving him on the 31st!! I am so excited I can hardly stand myself. I never dreamed in a million years that this would happen so fast. But God knew.

What a great day!

2009-07-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

So our visit with NJ went great! His current foster mom was pretty anxious about me taking him. He had a fever and had vomited earlier,(he is teething.) I was a little concerned only because he was asleep when I took him and I wasn't sure if he would freak out if he woke up with a stranger. But he was totally fine. he woke up when I parked at home and gave me a big ol' smile when he saw me.
Both the foster mom and the social worker were encouraging us to change his name. We were a little on the fence because there is so much controversy about changing a child's name and his name isn't bad. But we have decided to go ahead a change it. His new name is Virgil Cade. I think the name suits him better anyways. He is so cute! I can't wait until he is ours and I can start posting pics of him.
We have another 4 hr visit with him tomorrow and then next week the social worker said we would probably have him all day a couple of times and maybe even an overnight.
Babies sure are different from toddlers. I feel like a fish out of water again. I think I'll catch on quick though.
Until next time...

Could this be the one?

2009-07-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

So we met the sweetest little boy yesterday. We will call him NJ. He is 5mo old and just a little cutie! We start visiting him on Monday and if all goes well the plan is to place him around Aug 11th. The possibility of reunification with family is pretty slim but there is always a chance. His court hearing isn't until Oct when they will decide to continue reunification services or not. At this point they are looking at not since the birth mom has dropped off the face of the earth and birth dad is in jail. There is a grandma but apparently she can't pass the background check. I guess both of his birth parents were foster children growing up. Hopefully we can break the cycle.

We were not expecting to get to meet him yesterday. We thought it was just an informational meeting. He is so cute. He was very happy and smiley and went right to us. We visited him for an hour and then he fell asleep in my arms. We also met his current foster mom. She is an older gal who has had tons of babies over the years. He has been with her since birth so that is a plus.

Its so hard to pray for Gods Will in this new situation. What I really want to pray is, "God please don't let this hurt." I feel like my heart is bruised. But I know that what God has planned is far better then anything I could imagine. And so I am excited to experience what God is going to do in our lives on this new adventure!

New placement on the horizon

2009-07-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

Tomorrrow we have a meeting to learn more about a 6 mo old baby boy who needs a concurrant home,(a home where he can stay should the parents NOT get it together.) My adoptions worker says the possiblity of his parents getting it together looks pretty bleak. Our meeting it at 10:30am Friday the 17th of July. Please keep us in your prayers and I'll keep you posted.

Please someone make me laugh

2009-07-02T16:49:00.000-07:00

Because my face it about to crack from the angry scowl that is etched on it!

So a social worker showed up at my house today. I was gone and Ryan was watching Landen. Apparently Landen's family filed a complaint against us!!!!! Do you want to know why?????? (1)Because he is hitting them,(something that started when they upped his visits) (2)He had some swelling on the inside of his toe where the flip-flop was robbing him AND (3)he called his little brother "DUMB BABY!" Needless to say it was probably good that I wasn't here because I was flippin' ticked when I heard. After speaking to Ryan the social worker decided the complaint was unfounded,(duh!) but still..I mean come on! He is going home tomorrow for goodness sake. It sounds to me like the honeymoon is over and the son that she abandoned isn't going to let her off so easy.
We were supposed to pick him up yesterday at 5pm. So 5 till rolls around and I get a call from his mom. She is talking all sweet and meek,(like his grandmother always does. Its so fake it makes my skin crawl!) "oh, I just wanted to let you know that Landen needs to go to the doctor because he has been coughing ever since you dropped him off(Monday!!!). Did you want to take him or did you want me to take him?"
Is that ridiculous or what?! She had him for 4 1/2 days and she waits till I can take him. I told her she could take him and call me when she was done. Doesn't she sound like a model mother to you??? So frustrating!
I spoke with his social worker and she is doing to pick him up at 5pm tomorrow and take him to them. They are the last people I want to see right now.
On the upside we sure have learned a lot about what NOT to do with our next placement. Like no contact with the birth parents and no visits on weekends etc.
Well hopefully that will be the end of the drama for awhile. I need a break!

Long time

2009-06-30T17:24:00.000-07:00

Okay I know its been like FOREVER since I last updated this thing but things have been a little crazy and when I do have time to write I just don't feel like it.
So, did respite,(basically baby sitting) care for another foster parent. We had an 18 mo old boy and a 9 month old baby girl for 8 days. It was wild having three kids! Fun though. I actually did everything I had planned to do that week. I may have been a little loony by the end but loony is fun sometimes,(kind of like an escape???)he he! The kids were really really good. The two together were actually easier then just having Landen. But having the three of them was challenging because Landen and the 18 mo old fought continuously. There were times when I thought the neighbors might think I was slaughtering children from the sounds coming from their squabbles! But I only had Landen a couple of days out of the week they were here so it worked out fine. The 18 mo old could climb out of the crib without a sound. I never could catch him doing it to see how he was doing it, he would just appear.
So over the last month or so they have been increasing Landens visits and now we only have him on Sat and Sun. He will come home the 1st and then we will take him back on the 3rd and he will stay with his mom for good. Its a bummer but I wish it was already over because its kind of like baby sitting now. Plus I am sure there are no rules at his moms house so he isn't alot of fun when he is here. But it wont matter very soon. His mom seems to be doing really well and it will be good for Landen to grow up with his little brother.
So now we are just waiting to see what God is doing next. Our adoptions worker has all her coworkers on the lookout for us so I am sure it is only a matter of time. So until then I hope everyone has a great 4Th of July!

Psalm 34

2009-05-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

A Psalm of David when he pretended madness before Abimelech, who drove him away, and he departed.
1 I will bless the LORD at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2 My soul shall make its boast in the LORD;
The humble shall hear of it and be glad.
3 Oh, magnify the LORD with me,
And let us exalt His name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
5 They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed.
6 This poor man cried out, and the LORD heard him,
And saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel[a] of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him,
And delivers them.

8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
9 Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
10 The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing.

11 Come, you children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 Who is the man who desires life,
And loves many days, that he may see good?
13 Keep your tongue from evil,
And your lips from speaking deceit.
14 Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their cry.
16 The face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears,
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the LORD delivers him out of them all.
20 He guards all his bones;
Not one of them is broken.
21 Evil shall slay the wicked,
And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.
22 The LORD redeems the soul of His servants,
And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.

Someone sent me this passage and it has been a great comfort to me and confirmation to trust Him wait.

I spoke with my adoptions worker yesterday. She was very apologetic and said she hasn't had a case like ours before. I guess 3 "sure deals" (whatever that means) falling through hasn't happened before.
But that is OK. We haven't given up hope and we know that God is about to do something big!
We are just enjoying everyday we have we Landen and praying she get to keep him.
All the prayers are helping to please keep up the good work!

And the roller coaster ride continues

2009-05-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well I spoke with the adoptions worker for the little baby and she said that a cousin of the birthmom has turned up. So that moves him from being a low legal risk to a high legal risk. Provided all her background stuff checks out she will get priority. I guess she knew the birthmom was pregnant and has been trying to find her for ahwile now. And If the baby can be with family he should be.
No news from the other birthmom either. We dont even know if she has had him yet. I'm not holding my breath. Chances are if she is allowing herself to have second thoughts she will end up keeping him.
Landen had his first overnight with his birth mom last Saturday night. That was rough since Sunday was Mothers day. I survived though. with each day that goes by it seems more unbearable to let him go. I don't know how we are going to do it.
I know God has a plan but right now it doesnt feel like it. I just want to know what He is doing.
So that is the latest...

Talk about a 180!

2009-05-06T17:05:00.000-07:00

So the story is that the birth mom found the birth dad and he doesnt want her to give the baby up. Whether he wants to raise it with her I don't know. She hasnt had him yet. I guess they plan to induce next week. So we are pretty disappointed to say the least. But.....

There is another baby! He is 5 weeks old. His parents are homeless and have basically signed over thier rights and want nothing to do with him. So this is a low leagal risk situation. We went ahead and accepted the situation. He is in the next county so it will take atleast a week to get permission to move him out of county and then we will start transitioning him wich will take a week to a week and a half.

Oh! and the social worker said that if the birth mom of the original baby goes ahead with her plan we can have BOTH babies!!

Okey well, that is the latest. Please keep praying.

No baby yet

2009-05-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

Every time the phone rings my heart jumps out of my chest and does a little dance the ceiling. But no call to say we have a baby yet. Ryan went out of town for the weekend but he is close enough to get home quick when we do get the call. I kind of wish I would have gone with him just to keep my mind busy but I know I would have been a nervous wreck! Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we haven't gotten him yet so keep praying.

The news is....

2009-04-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

There is no news. No news is good news right?
I think we have pretty much everything we need.I bought he cutest little "bring home outfit." Its light blue organic cotton and it is oh-so soft! I still have to get a co-sleeper and some diapers but I can get those on the way home from the hospital if I need to. Our bags are packed and we are sleeping with the phone. I have been keeping busy gardening so that is helping my anxiety.
Landen's visits have been up'ed considerably. That has been hard but I guess its good because we will know if birth mom can handle it. I will be glad when this is all over. I just want my family.

Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

2009-04-10T09:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, everything is back on schedule. The birth mom went to see the adoptions worker yesterday and she assures her she is 37 weeks,(April 30th.) She also said she still wants to continue with the plan. So we are breathing a little easier today and that is for sure! Thanks you all for your encouraging words and faithful prayers.

Another due date!

2009-04-09T12:35:00.001-07:00

The adoptions worker called me yesterday to tell me that she still hasn't gotten the doctor to cal her back about the birth moms actual due date. But...the receptionist said "Oh, well she is due in two days!" Which would be tomorrow. I guess that is based on her original ultrasound. So we have tomorrow, April 30th and June 1st now. I am still inclined to go with the birth moms due date,(April 30th) though.
To add to my anxiety the adoptions worker hasn't heard from the birth mom in over a week in spite of leaving her three messages. I am told she is very private so she may just want to be left alone until she has a the baby.
My sister-in-law,(had a baby in Feb) has offered to supplement breast milk till my milk comes in. She offered back when we first heard about this baby. I couldn't help but feel completely awkward asking someone for THEIR milk...Ahhhhh adoption, there is never a dull moment!
So wee are all praying the social worker hears from her soon, waiting on pins and needles, sleeping with the phone and buying all kinds of ridiculous baby items that he will never use.
Until next time!

Back to the waiting game

2009-03-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

It looks like we will be waiting on pins and needles a little longer than we thought. The adoptions worker got the birth moms medical records yesterday and they state that the mom is due June 1st. The birthmom says April 30th so (I am a little more inclined to go with the birth mom since SHE is the one that is pregnant!) But we also have to be prepared to be waiting,waiting,waiting...again.
This will give us a little more time to prepared and since I hope to breastfeed, more time for my milk to come in.
The hospital is aware of the birth plan and as long as the hospital isnt booked up they will give us a room so we can stay with the baby while he is in the hospital.
From what I understand, we will get to take him home from the hospital but the birthmom cannot relinquish her rights until she has been out of the hopsital for a week. Once that time elapses she can choose one of three options 1. Sign and relinquish imediately 2.Sign the form but it wont be filed for 30 days or 3. Sign but her rights wont be terminated until the birthfathers' are terminated.
The baby will have to be in our home for 6 months before they can finalze the adoption. And if they cannot find the birthfather it may take even longer.

Landen is doing great! He is back to being the happy little boy that we were visiting back in January. He called me mom infront of his birth-grandma the other day. You could tell she was upset about it but what can you do?? Besides, I am his mom (until I am not.)

Thank you everyone for all of your prayers and encouragment! I'll keep you posted.

FANTABULOUS NEWS!!!!!

2009-03-23T16:50:00.000-07:00

She picked us!!!!! The birth mom picked us! I can hardly believe it. We are totally stoked.
Of course nothing is set in stone until she signs on the dotted line,(and we will be on pins and needles until she does.) But just the fact that she picked us is soooo exciting!!!!
She has a ultrasound appointment today to determine the actual due date.
That's about all the information I have right now. I'll try to update as often as possible.
Keep those prayers coming because they are working!!

Time flies and things change

2009-03-21T10:40:00.001-07:00

Geeze! I can't believe it's been a month since the last time I posted anything. Time goes by so quickly.

We are all doing well. Landen has been teething the last few weeks and so I think that was why he was being such a bear. But it's going good now. He is a lot of fun. We took a family vacation a couple weeks ago. That was a bit of a disaster but I guess that is to be expected when you drive for 9 hours with a 2 yr old.
Landen's birth mom had his little brother last week. She will start having her visits with Landen at her home starting next week so she doesn't have to drag the newborn out of the house so much. I met her briefly before she had the baby. She is quiet and seems very nice.
It's hard to think of losing him but I know that God is in control and he will protect him.

We met with a birth mother who is looking for adoptive parents for her unborn baby boy.
I was really nervous at first but as soon as I saw her face I felt at ease. She is a really neat young woman and I felt we all "connected" right away. She is due at the end of April and wants to make a plan before she goes to the hospital. I am hoping we will hear something early next week. I know she is meeting a couple of other families as well. I can't imagine how hard it would be to make a decision like this. She is a very brave young girl and I have a lot of respect for her. We are praying for God's hand to be on her as she makes this very important decision. i will try to keep everyone updated as things unfold.

Things are looking up

2009-02-19T11:16:00.001-08:00

Thank you everyone for all your prayers! Things have gotten so much better the last few days. The change has been so drastic that I know it was the result of everyone praying. I have my sweet little boy back and its great!

I told the adoptions worker about everything that has been going on and she documented the "hand slapping"incident. She thinks he is giving me such a hard time because he is attaching to me and now feels comfortable to express himself,(Oh joy!) She also thought I should back off on enforcing rules right now and "pick my battles." Like move all the "No's" out of his reach and work on bonding. Now if he wants to run out in front of a truck, well that is the battle I should pick. I don't really agree with this philosophy. I think if I can get him to obey with the small stuff there wont be as many big stuff battles. I have decided to let a few things slide though. Like drinking the bath water. I think its totally gross but if he likes it who am I to say he can't drink it right? I am sure we have all had our fair share of delicious (pee) bath water right?
I started reading "Creative Correction." So far the philosophy is nothing new but I think I really needed a refresher. One thing that author said that struck me is that we are our children's first impression of God. And how they view us is how they will view God. To be honest I think the image of God that Landen has been getting from me is a strict disciplinarian that doesn't tolerate anything. Like fits for example, I have been pretty hard on him about talking back and throwing fits. In all honesty I still through fits! (Just ask Ryan:) And my gracious God,(and husband) doesn't put me in time out for pouting at him. He lets me express my self and continues to love me. It doesn't change anything, but he will let me scream:) So I have decided to let up on the fits. No I am not going to let him get out of control but I will let him express his opinion (once in awhile:)
So far it's working and things have been pleasent around our house again. So thank you again for the prayers and please keep them coming. Until next..

Who is this little monster living in my house?!!

2009-02-16T15:45:00.000-08:00

AHHHHH!! Everyone told me this would be hard. But I never dreamed it would be this hard.
My son seems to disdain me in the worst way. It started last week. He screams and throws fits. He deliberately disobeys time and time again. Every day seems to be a battle. It appear he looks for opportunities to be bad.
Most people say this is normal 2 yr old stuff. But they don't see what I see. They see this cute charismatic little boy. But when its just us he is angry and pissy and looking for a fight.
The other day he woke up from his nap. I herd him so I went in to get him. He had this big smile on his face, (like he used to up until last Monday.) When he saw it was me the smile left and his eyes went cold and glazed over. He wouldn't come to me when I reached for him. I feel like I have done something terrible to him to make him hate me so but I haven't touched him. He gets time outs or he gets something taken away. At church on Sunday Landen was squirming around in Ryan's arms and he couldn't get him to stop. So Ryan gave him to me. I told him to stop and he did. Then he reached for Ryan again. I told him no and then Ryan told him no. He gave me that dead look and went stiff. He had both arms reaching for Ryan just as stiff as a board. I moved the one arm back behind me and he just kept it stiff only touching me where I was touching him. that lasted until worship was over and people started distracting him from the evil glare that was burning into my heart.

I feel like everything started on Monday morning. He came back from his grandma visit Sunday night and was quiet with a few fits. Grandma mentioned that she fed him a lot of fruit. Monday morning I changed his diaper and he had the worst rash I had ever seen! It changed faces every time I checked it. It started purple and splotchy and went to red splotchy with white bumps. Then the bumps popped and after putting coconut oil on it and some powder it started going away. It was VERY painful for him. Now, along with the behavior issues he cries almost every time we change his diaper. Then yesterday I was watching him play. He was pulling pens out a box and talking to himself. He pulled one out and said "No" and slapped his own hand!! I don't know if this is normal play or what but it sure freaked me out! To me, it looked like he learned that from having it done to him. We don't slap his hands and I can't think of anyone we have been around that does that to their kids.
I'm going to tell our adoptions worker and start a journal of what I observe just to cover our butts.
His sudden change in behavior is very alarming to me. Yesterday Ryan got to have a little taste of his acting out. Ryan was trying to help me out and do some of the not so fun stuff so I wasn't always the bad guy and Landen really tried him. He had to go to time out for something and it probably took a good 20 min to get him to stay there. We finally had to settle for 1 minute so it would be us getting him up and not him getting deciding. Good ol' steady Ryan never falter but I could tell it was hard on him.
I can't believe how hard this it. Everyone told me it would be but I just never imagined it would be this hard.

Pushing buttons

2009-02-09T09:56:00.001-08:00

Being a mom is hard. Things have been rather challenging this last week. I think Landon is figuring out that he is in yet another home. He has been testing us big time! I feel like he spent all day Sat in time out. It wasn't like he was accidentally being bad. He was deliberately disobeying time after time. Maybe this is just 2 yr old stuff. All I know is that its exhausting! I think its hard when you adopt because everything has to be analysed to see whether its normal or an attachment issue. It sure makes mommy feel like crap. Ryan has been a big help though. He took the brunt of it this weekend.
He really struggles on the days he see's his birth mom. Afterwards he screams and throws fits well into the evening. I hate seeing him like that. Its so sad.
I am unsure whether or not we should put him in nursery at church. He likes to play in there but he visits his grandma on Sunday afternoons so that's almost an entire day away from us. Plus he is with his birth mom from 9:30-12 2 days a week. It's not like I need a break. I feel guilty leaving him there. Like I'm shirking my duty. But more importantly I feel like it may be effecting attachment.
On a lighter note..when he is happy he is a lot of fun. He loves to play outside. He likes to playing the dirt when I am working in the garden. It's pretty cute.
Well, that's it for now.

It's a boy!

2009-02-02T17:02:00.000-08:00

We are officially a family now. Landen moved in on Friday. Geez, he has a lot of stuff! We need a whole other room just to keep his stuff in.

His birthday was Thursday so we had a party for him on Friday night. What a turn out! I just hope I didn't forget to invite anyone. If I did I am sorry. There was so many people in my house that I am surprised the fire department didn't show up. It was awesome! I love a packed house.

Friday was also the hearing. The judge went ahead and offered he another six months of services. It's probably for the best since the tribe is now involved. It will give them a chance to see that the birth mom really cannot get it together and adoption really is the best answer.

Last Sunday Landen slipped and cut his head just before church. Then on Monday he went running out the bedroom door, tripped on a stuffed animal and slammed his head on the door jam. He had a huge goose egg to show for it. Surprisingly his birth mom never said a word about it. I posted a pic of the damage.

That's it for now. I'll post more later.

Getting close

2009-01-26T11:56:00.000-08:00

I realised this morning as I was picking Landen up from the foster mom that when I take him back there tomorrow night it will be that last time he spends the night there. Even though they are technically placing him on Sunday, he will be actually living with us starting Friday!! Whoohooo!
I noticed that since we have bought the stroller I am not nearly as tired. It's rough on the ol' bod when you are packing an extra 25 pounds,(whether its attached or not.)hehe. I love that stroller. This morning we went walking on a trail that was more like 4X and it just ate up the dirt, mud and ruts!
We are thinking of having a little birthday/placement party for him sometime this weekend. I think it will be pretty fun for everyone to see him. Plus I need pictures of his first birthday with us!

I'm so tired!!!

2009-01-24T09:22:00.000-08:00

I read yesterday that boy toddlers require 50% more energy from the mother than girls. I have no idea if its true, all I know is I'm freakin' exhausted!!! (I'm having a blast though.)
Landen is doing awesome. He is pretty well adjusted I'd say. We have him 3 nights a week and all days but Wed and Thur. He sleeps great! Which is nice and he is eating better as well,(not horking down everything.)
I bought him a jogging stroller so I don't have to pack him back and forth from the barn. That was really wearing on me!
Our meeting went really well on Wednesday. Long story short the tribe agreed to let us foster him until it can be determined if his birth mom will get her act together. That court date is set for the 30th of Jan. Landen will be officially placed in our home on Feb 1st. YEAAAAAHHH!!!!! We are so very excited!!!
That is all for now. I'll try to update sooner next time.

Praying for a miracle

2009-01-14T12:09:00.000-08:00

It turns out the tribe did intervene at the hearing on Friday and ask for a continuance which is set for the 30th of Jan. (Our 10 yr anniversary!!!) The adoptions worker said that at this point the county has no intention of continuing services to the birth mother but that does not stop the tribe from intervening,(which they will probably do again on the 30th.) So the adoptions worker is trying to set up a meeting with us, herself, our adoptions worker, Landon's social worker and the tribal worker for next Wednesday. She wants the tribal worker to see for himself how comfortable Landon is with us and hopefully get his permission to go ahead and place him. We will also sign a cultural contract with the tribe saying we will expose him as much a possible to the Indian culture and also get him enrolled in the tribe. That way the tribe doesn't lose a member because of him being adopted outside of the tribe.
Ultimately the tribe has to agree to us adopting him for that to happen. The tribal worker and Landon's adoption worker have a good working relationship so there is hope. So all in all this is good news and as this post is titled, WE ARE PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE.

Landon is doing great!! Our first overnight went really well. He slept all the way through the night and woke up happy and not weirded out by the strange surroundings. As far as I can tell he is more then ready to make the move. Now we are just waiting for the people in charge to get their acts together.

Not the best news we could get but...

2009-01-08T12:43:00.000-08:00

The good news is that Landon is transitioning great! We have had him quite a bit lately and he is calling us mama and Dada without any prompting from us. He LOVES Ryan. He thinks he is a giant jungle gym. We have our first overnight tomorrow so we are really excited about that. He is comfortable enough to through fits and be a little stinker at times. His fits are pretty weak though so that is good. He started screaming at me last night while I was fixing his dinner. I scolded him and told him we don't act that way. He immediately felt bad and laid his head on my leg and sighed as if to say, "I'm sorry mommy." It was pretty cute.
When I picked him up on Tuesday he was standing at the window waving so frantically that he almost bounced himself off the couch he was standing on. All in all he is transitioning well and I think he will be placed soon.
And now for the not so good news:
We had a visit from his adoptions worker yesterday. She had just found out that Landon is Yurok. The Yurok tribe does not allow adoptions outside of the tribe. They only allow family members and other Yurok family's to adopt.
She was informed by the tribe yesterday that they would intervene at the hearing tomorrow and request a 20 day continuance on the hearing. Then they will ask for another 6 mo of services for the birth mom.
The adoptions worker told us she was sorry and that we did not have to continue since the chance of us adopting him is slim.
We have already talked about a similar scenario and decided that it would be better if he was in our home,(the foster home he is in now is not a long term home.) where he is well cared for until another home can be identified or by the grace of God we can adopt him.
Not all hope is lost but it does look like an uphill battle.
God is bigger then any tribe, social worker or birth parent and so I will trust that His perfect Will will be done.
I will write more when I know more. Until then we are enjoying every moment with our little boy.

Treck to the barn

2008-12-30T17:05:00.000-08:00

We had Landon again today for the first time in a week. He has been very sick and today was the first day he was well enough to visit.

He was a little shy at first but that is to be expected since he hasn't seen us in a week.

We did Christmas with him. He LOVED the little CAT backhoe we got him. My dad picked it out last week when we were at Big R. They both had a lot of fun playing with it.

The sun came out for a little while and it got warm so we walked down to the barn and he met the horses for the first time. He liked them at a distance but they are so friendly that it scared him when they came right up to see him. I post a pic of our little adventure.

We get to have him again on Friday and then all day on Sat!! Then the adoptions worker is going to come out on Wed to observe us playing with him,(pressure!!) The hearing is Fri the 9th and then they are planning to have him stay overnight next weekend!! I am so excited but a little scared.

I talked with his foster mother about whether we should put him into a bed when he comes to live with us or keep him in the crib. I also got her opinion on potty training. She has a lot of wisdom and I'm glad she is willing to give us advice.

Oops! Spilled the beans.

2008-12-24T10:34:00.000-08:00

It was brought to my attention that I blabbed "L's" name in an earlier post. So much for being sly! So for all of you who missed it his name is Landon. I'm a dork I know.
I had him yesterday. Poor baby, he was sicker than a dog. He has a nasty congested cough. But even as sick as he was he is such a little darling. He seems to always be on the best behavior. I am sure I am in for it though once he is comfortable. I have seen glimpsed of a stubborn streak.
When I took him back to his foster mom I told her that if he is to sick on Friday we didn't have to have a visit. (I was thinking it would be hard on him to be somewhere besides "home".) But she said he would probably get more attention at my house. It was sad to realise that he doesn't get enough attention there and she even admits it. That's about the time I'd downsize my foster group I think.
I discovered he is very protective of his shoes. I was getting him all dressed in his hick duds,(Wranglers and a John Deer sweatshirt) for Ryan's Christmas party. I put on his little cowboy boots and he melted down. He sobbed and sobbed until I figured out that he was crying because he wanted HIS shoes. I took them off and put his shoes back on. It took him a minute to recover and then he was a happy little boy again. I felt so bad. But now I know that there is something that makes him feel secure.
The social worker emailed me yesterday and said they would start extending our time with him next week. I'm so excited!!
Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

Another awesome day with our son!

2008-12-22T11:07:00.000-08:00

We had "L" for 3 1/2 hours Sat night. My house was full of people coming to gawk at him. He hammed it up for everyone. I was surprise how well he handled all the people around. He fits in perfectly with us!
I bought him some Wrangler jeans, a western shirt and some cowboy boots. He looked sooooo freakin' cute! He loves all the attention we give him.
He initiated us into parenthood right off the bat by dumping the biggest load in his diaper he could muster. My goodness sakes! If anything was going to get me to change my mind about parenthood it would be that!!! But we survived.
He didn't want to eat his dinner but I think that is because we fed him to many (organic for all who are wondering) graham crackers. Oops! What can I say, we are armatures. Nothing could have reminded me of that more as when he started pulling wipes and diapers out if his bag and handing them to me. We all cooed and laughed at how cute he was. I put them all back in the bag and he pulled them out again. Then he started pulling the wipes out of the package and handing them to me. I would say "thank you!" like a dweeb and then put the wipe back when he looked away. Finally after the 3rd or 4th time of him handing me a diaper I decided to check him. You have probably guess by now that he was drenched. I changed him and he ran around the house doing a little jig only the driest of boys do. This is defiantly a learning experience. The first child is always the guinea pig right??
Another thing that was kind of funny was when all of the family left he started gathering up all his stuff and handing me his coat as if he was ready too! It was pretty cute!!
I think one of my favorite things about him so far is how easy going and game he is for anything.
Oh! Another neat thing that happened was that when I went to pick him up at his foster home his foster mom asked him if he was ready to go and he nodded his head yes and reached for me to pick him up! We were concerned because it was the first time I had come and taken him from his house. God is good.
Tomorrow is the next visit. I'll write more later.

It went great!!

2008-12-20T08:50:00.000-08:00

What an amazing day!! He didn't mind going with us at all! He loved the dogs and wasn't scared of them even though they were acting pretty wild. He would try and lick them every time they would come close to him. (gross I know but sooo cute!)
He chatted and played the whole time. I was able to make out about 7 words. My parents and my sister got to meet him and he even crawled up into my mom's lap! He is so squishy and cuddly. He was sooo much cuter then I remembered too.
The foster mother said I will now be called "Mama Kristy" so he knows who I am.
I was so relieved at how comfortable he was with us. It was better then I could have ever imagined.
We get him for 3 1/2 hours today!! I think we may take him to see some Christmas lights.

The pressure is on!

2008-12-18T12:09:00.000-08:00

We get to have "L" for 2 hours tomorrow all by ourselves!!! I am so nervous! What if he freaks out at us strangers and is inconsolable? I want to puke every time I think about. At the same time I am so excited and so aware of how unprepared I really am. But...I only wallowed in my panic for about a night. Now I am heading to Wal-Mart to get sippy cups and kiddy plates and utensils and whatever else I think might be of value to us for our first few visits. We will have him for 3 hours on Sat as well. And we will feed him dinner. This brings a whole new bundle of worries but that is what tomorrow afternoon is for. How hard can it be to feed a little boy? He is just a mini man. Fill his belly and he will be happy...right? Pray for me please. I am a nervous wreck.

Back on track

2008-12-16T11:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've been a little quiet lately but all that is about to change!
After we met Landon we found out that they might offer his birth mother another 6mo of service. We have been waiting to find out more details on that before we did any more blabbing about how fabulous our son is. His
adoptions worker emailed me this morning to tell me that they will NOT be offering his birth mother anymore services. So the new game plan is;
We will start visiting him about three times a week (to start.) We will do this until Jan 9th which is the official hearing to terminate rights. After that they will place him in our home. YEEEEEEHAAWWWWWWWW!!! I find out later today when we actually get to see him again.

He is perfect!

2008-12-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

We got to meet "L" yesterday. He is pretty shy but soooo cute. Just a perfect little boy. The only way Ryan and I could get him to interact with us was to feed him treats. He loved the little Thomas the train we bought him. He took it home as his "transition toy."

I almost threw up just before he got there from nerves. Its was really awkward because there were three social workers and his foster mother watching us interact with him. Then come to find out there were more social workers observing us through a "mirror." I am so glad I didn't know that until afterwords!! We will have a set of scheduled visits set up for us next week and they plan to have him pretty well ready to transition but the 2nd of Jan.

Sorry this post is so sporadic but all the info is still swirling around in my head waiting to be processed. I'll blog more later (when my brain settles down.)

Meeting our son

2008-12-03T12:38:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone,
I have exciting news! It looks like we are going to meet our son on Friday.

"L's " social worker called me yesterday and said that since we have met before,(briefly at an adoptions meeting) and because we come so highly recommended by our adoptions worker we could just meet him on Friday!! So 11:00 Am PST will be the big moment we meet. I am so very excited. She also said that if all goes well with the meeting she wants us to visit him as much as possible in the next few weeks. Then after the court date,(Jan 2nd) we will make the transition. I can hardly contain my excitement and Friday cant come soon enough!!!!
Thank you to everyone for all the prayers of support. Please keep them coming.

Finally we have some news!!!!

2008-11-20T11:53:00.001-08:00

I just heard from our adoptions worker. She gave me more specifics on the 2 year old boy and his unborn sibling,(due in April!).
He has a grandmother here in town who would want to have contact with him and so the social workers biggest concern is to find a family that will support that relationship and possibly take the child's unborn sibling once it is born. She said he is very healthy and has formed strong attachments to both his mother and grandmother.
The situation with the infant is uncertain because the birth father is different from the boys father so there may be family from the birth fathers side that would want the child.
So the next step is to meet with the child's social worker. We hope to set up a meeting early next week. After that we should start visiting him.
The parental rights are scheduled to be terminated in early January so they wouldn't actually place him with us until after the hearing to insure a low risk placement.
God is so good and he will never give us more than we can handle. (Even though it feels like it sometimes!) Thank you to everyone for all your prayers and encouragement. Now that we are getting closer to a placement we will need those prayers more that ever so keep'um coming!

No news is good new....right??

2008-11-16T09:55:00.000-08:00

Sorry to keep everyone waiting. Friday I waited all afternoon for a call from the social worker to tell me about the little boy. Finally I checked my email. She apologized for making me wait but the child's social worker had had some kind of crisis and she would have to wait until next week to find out more details. I was bummed but once again this is all in God's timing not mine. It would however be a lot easier on me if I could somehow get my clocks in sink with His. Oh well...Hopefully I will hear something on Monday!

I do have exciting news though. We just found out my sister is pregnant. So I am going to be an auntie!!!!!

Looking forward to the end of the week!

2008-11-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

Well, I heard from the adoptions worker today. It looks like the girls will be going back to their birth father.
Although this is a little disappointing, I have been praying for an answer one way or the other about the girls so I am thankful to finally have the answer.
She did tell me about a little boy who is almost 2 yrs old (who's birth mother is also pregnant.) She said she would have more information about them on Thursday or Friday and wants to talk to us then.
The waiting is so hard most of the time but I know God has specific children for us and those are the ones we want regardless of how long it takes. I am praying for wisdom on behalf of our adoptions worker since she is basically "choosing" our children. What a heavy burden she has. Until next time..

John Piper's Heart in the 2008 Election

2008-11-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGjGbZNyIBY

Pawn or Key player?

2008-10-29T11:59:00.000-07:00

I was reading Matthew 1:1-17 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matt%201%20;&version=50;

The lineage of Jesus. Now I have read and heard this passage many times growing up. (If you were raised in the church you have to.) And so and so begot so and so and on and on and on right?? Well today I actually paid attention.

Throughout this whole adoption process I hear people say that adoption is, (and I agree) the heart of God and we should all adopt because Jesus was adopted and because we were adopted in to the family of God blahblahblah...

The thing that grabbed me this morning was that in reading that passage I realized that Jesus was adopted into the line of David through Joseph! From what I can find, not much is said in the bible about Mary's lineage,(I'm no scholar so I could totally be off here.)
I have never really given Joseph much thought in the story of Jesus. He was just some nice guy that raised our Savior as his own. A nobody really, a pawn in the BIG PLAN.
But the reality is that Joseph played a key roll in history. Without Joseph, Jesus would not be from the line of David.
This is just so amazing to me. God had this whole adoption thing worked out from the beginning. It wasn't like he said.."Lets see here...I gotta get Jesus down there some how...Oh I know, I'll have Joe-blow off the street adopt him!"

No. He knew what he was doing. From the beginning of time He knew that His Son would be born of a virgin and adopted by a stranger with a prophetic lineage so that He could save the world and so that we,(His adopted children) could live by faith and adopt the fatherless of this world. Its not plan "A" or plan "B" its God plan for a perfectly imperfect family. How cool is that!?!!

*If I am way off base here about Mary's lineage I would love it if you would leave the scripture reference in the comments. Like I said, I am no scholar.

Honored ~ RLC Blog Buzz

2008-10-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

"But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more." Luke 12:48

This verse has been heavy on my heart the last few days. My life has been so blessed.

I grew up in a stable home with God fearing parents who loved me and my sister.
I have been married for almost 10 years to a wonderful man who not only puts up with me but also works his tail off to make sure I am, "living the life I'm accustom to."(heehee)
We have a beautiful home and much to offer our future children.

God has given me so much and because of that I know that much will be required of me. But I don't say that with dread. [Like I have to give something up because I have so much.] I feel a great sense of honor that the God of creation would require anything of me. What an amazing God we serve!

RLC Blog Buzz question of the week

2008-10-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

Q:
To Commit your heart or not? There is much debate in the adoption world about when you throw your heart into the mix. . .upon first sight of that referral picture? Or not until the court date? Homecoming Date?

My A:

God didn't wait to see if we would love and serve Him before He sent His son. He committed to us from the get-go.

I committed my heart when we decided to adopt. I think God has been cultivating in me the love I will need for my future children for a very long time.
Even if we don't get the girls, I still love them. If we don't get them I will be disappointed for sure, but I know that God has specific kids out there for us and they will be the ones I love. Until our kids are identified I will love these girls like they are mine, because you never know they might be!

Let the games begin

2008-10-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

It's official! We are licenced foster parents. Whoohooo!!! I can't believe it!! What a hurdle to finally be over. Now I guess we wait for the call.

Finally!!

2008-10-17T17:22:00.000-07:00

Our CPR and First Aid cards are finally here. Hmm...I wonder what kind of hoop we will be jumping through next?

Born Alive

2008-10-17T10:28:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to the Pregnancy Care Center banquet. This years speaker was Gianna Jessen. I remember reading about her in Brio magazine when I was a teenager and was so excited when I leaned she was speaking.
Gianna is a woman who 31 yrs ago was aborted by her mother and didn't die! What a testimony she has.
She is such a gifted speaker and has so many meaningful and important things to say about basically every big issue we are dealing with in this world today.
Something that impacted me when listening to Gianna speak was the intimacy and passion in her voice when she spoke of her Lord. She spoke so forcefully and passionately about His power and glory. Then with equal passion she said,

"And I'm His girl."

What an amazing realization! She spoke with such gentleness and adoration that I am sure there wasn't a single woman in the audience that wasn't moved to her very core. It certainly spoke to my heart. I am His girl. And nothing can ever change that.

She bravely said what needed to be said and dealt with the issues that needed to be dealt with without fear of offending. And yet everything she said she said with love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKj109ZST3g

Listening to her made me want to speak with the same passion and boldness to say what needs to be said. And to say it with the love of Christ. To not fear what others may think. To not fear that other may hate me.

This woman of God is definatly someone I want to teach my children about.

Will you trust me?

2008-10-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was discouraged about the visit with our adoption worker. I was a little annoyed and disappointed with God. Even though I want this in His timing, I still want what I want dang it! And the info we got was not what I wanted.

After blogging I got in my car and headed to work. When I turned on my radio,(KLOVE) the voice on the air said, "Do you trust Me?"...Silence. Needless to say, I was a little taken aback. Now I know the DJ wasn't actually talking to me. But I think God used him to break into my little pity-party.

So my answer is, "Yes Lord, I will trust You."

Not what I hoped for but...

2008-10-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

Well, we just finished our interview. She didn't have much news about the girl sand still hasn't finished determining legal risk. She was hopeful that she would know by the end of the month though. She didn't want to give much info on them since its such a small community, but did say they are here in CC and would like to see them go to a home where they are the only children. I guess they are in a foster home right now that has a lot of kids. She said they are SOOO adorable that even she wanted to take them home. So I am hopeful that she is "rooting" for us to get them. Still, I was so hoping to have a more definite answer today. Oh well, all in His timing not mine.

Ryan had his phyco social interview today as well. I find it encouraging that she wanted to get it done. Last time we spoke she was in no hurry to get the home study finished so that we wouldn't have to re-submit anything.

So that is the latest news. Still waiting. Wish it were a little more exciting...maybe next time.

Tomorrow's the BIG day!

2008-10-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

Well, we find out more about the girls tomorrow. We also have our 2nd interview for our home study. Better known as the phyco social analysis,(I know, it sounds like we are up for parole or something!) I pray that we find out if we are going to get them or if we arn't because it would be nice to not get our hopes up (any higher) if it isn't going to happen.
This kids room is filled to the brim now with a crib, bunk beds a changing table, a little night stand/dresser and lots of toys that have been given to us by friends. All we need now is the kids.
Our CPR cards should be here today and then we should have the foster care licence. WHOOOHOOOO!!!!
Okay well that is the big news for the day. I'll write again tomorrow.

Who put the spikes in the road??

2008-10-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like we are zooming along only to hit another road block. Or maybe not a road block, but defiantly spikes in the road. Right now the only thing holding up our foster care licence is our CPR and First Aid cards. We took those classes earlier this year when we were planning on going through the foster care agency. Well apparently the social worker at social services doesn't think the class we took is legit enough and is probably going to require us to take additional hours. (As if 12 hours of First Aid isn't enough!) So frustrating. But I know that God is in control and this will all happen in His timing, not mine.

A family for Christmas

2008-10-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

It is so hard to know where to start. I have so much to say but whenever I sit down to write no complete thoughts will form.

I guess I'll start with a little history. We decided to adopt in January of this year (2008). After a lot of prayer we felt God directing us to adopt through foster care.
We completed all the forms, took the classes, started our home study and recently passed our home inspection. We are waiting for our CPR cards to arrive and then we will have our foster care licence. Hopefully we will have the the licence by the end of October.

Our adoptions worker is confident that we will have a sibling group placed by summer of next year. That time frame seems like an eternity to me. I pray we will have our placement by Christmas. Words cannot express how badly I want to share Christmas traditions,(and make new ones) with our children.

Last week I emailed our adoptions worker to let her know where we were in the foster licence process. This was her reply:

Hi Kristy,
It was great to hear from you. I was just talking about you guys this morning at our staffing. I am in the very preliminary assessment stage of trying to find a family for two little girls, they are sisters (ages 2 and 4). Both are super sweet, very verbal, and beautiful. I know that you sort of preferred boys but was wondering if you would want to hear more about them.
Thanks so much for checking in.
Take Care,
P

Of course we were absolutely thrilled to hear this. She is still assessing legal risk on the girls. She said she wouldn't want place them with us until she was sure parental rights would be terminated. We have our 2nd home study interview on Oct 15th. She said she would know more by then.

We are praying for God's will in this situation. As badly as I want these girls to be our girls, I want what is best for them and what is best for our family. No matter what, we want God's will and His timing in all of this.

We are trying to wait patently(ha!) and prayerfully. Its hard though because I already call them "Our girls" and "The girls," and I don't even know their names yet!
I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I think it may be to late for that:)

By the 15th we should have our licence; (so the way I see it) there will be nothing stopping them from placing the girls if all goes the way we hope it does.